Nips, Zips and Snaps


I just saw Bridesmaids last night, and if you haven’t seen it yet, GO! Kristen Wiig and cast are killer and the comedic writing will have you leaning forward laughing! It got me thinking about what I do, write about fashion and retail, and who I am. I feel more like Kristen Wiig’s character in Bridesmaids, than the chic fashion bloggers out there who are jet setting and flitting about in Alexander Wang. So in honor and celebration of the girl I am, I thought I’d start a little segment called Nips, Zips and Snaps, for all the humorous fashion moments in my life. Feel free to chime in with your own fashion faux pas moments and comment!

I must have been ten or eleven, summer time in Colorado. The whole family went rumbling down I-76 headed to Barr Lake in our blue, Ford Econoline van where I’m certain my sister, two brothers and I were seat belt-less and fancy free, rolling about the back. I remember the dress I wore vividly. It was to the ankle, a column shift dress with tank sleeves, and it was a bright neon, fish print cotton number my momma sewed on her Singer. I remember I wore my clogs with it. This is where I went wrong. We had a picnic, pretty sure, and then I remember somehow walking along a steep bank exploring the great outdoors, in my clogs. In my column, ankle length dress that did not give my balletic wide stride any give. I sank into the soil, rolled my ankle in those damn clogs and tumbled down this dirt hill. My dress ripped and I was ass up with my Little Mermaid briefs exposed. Yes, I still wore Disney print panties in pre-pubescent years, and I am proud. I wasn’t proud then, it was embarrassing having your siblings laughing at you, but thinking about all the starlets now photographed sans underoos at all in the back of Cadillacs in L.A., I guess I can be thankful they were full coverage briefs and I was far from attracting any sort of paparazzi in Adams County Colorado. I still wear clogs, but I haven’t been back to Barr Lake since.

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